Ron-Ron

I never get tired of reading about Ron Artest. He's so lovably crazy. I just wish he would start playing better, and soon. lol.

Here are some of the best parts:
-"He's the kind of guy, if you give him specific, exact directions, he'll follow them," Bryant says. "But they have to be exact. But once you give them to him, he'll follow them even if he has to run through a wall."

Don't give him any ideas.

-"Because once I get into that gym, that ball is like a drug. When you see that ball go into the basket, that's like one of the best drugs ever. I'm addicted, and I hope the state of California illegalizes it."

-Ron Ron is carrying a large bag of food for his lunch -- all vegan. But Ron Ron is not entirely vegan. "About 80 percent," he says. "I like pork chops."

-In the Lakers' locker room, reporters want to know if Ron Ron will reject the shots of President Barack Obama when the Lakers visit the White House on Dec. 13.

"Oh, absolutely!" he says. "I will lock down anybody anytime, even the president of the United States."

-I ask Jackson why he's playing Artest fewer minutes this season. "I'm not," Jackson says. "Ron overheard [substitute forward Matt Barnes] asking me for more playing time, so he's been raising his hand just to get Matt more time."

Why, Ron Ron?

"Because we're a team. I just want to win another title. Who cares about minutes? Who cares about points?"

-I think this is my favorite : "I overtrained swimming this week," he said on the way to the game. "So I'm going to be really tired tonight. Which is kinda how I like it."

Sorry?

"I can be too strong for some small forwards, so they don't want to go at me, so I get bored. So sometimes I overtrain on purpose before a game just to see if I can lock a guy down with only half my energy."

-Now, he's happier (mostly) and doesn't drink (mostly). After winning Game 7, Artest stayed up for 48 hours straight. At 4 a.m. that first night, cutting a record with Dr. Dre (don't ask), he saw singer Chris Brown and gave Brown the jersey he hadn't taken off the entire night.

But why?

"I don't know. I think I was drunk."